Life as a small mountain gorilla.
The backs gone again. The joy of back pain and being a house husband is, well, nothing. Only when you hurt something do you realise how much you use it and only then do you realise how much you need it. Now I was going to go on a lovely long poetic metaphor upon how my situation mirrors aspects of our daily lives but dammit my back really does hurt!
As you may remember dear reader I usually type my witterings whilst stood in my "office" but no more. I have had to join the world of those who sit. "What's his problem?" you may ask, well I'll tell you. If you are of average dimensions you may not be aware of the daily struggles anyone above 6 foot has. I myself stand at just shy of 6ft 4inches, coupled with a previously discussed weight of a small mountain gorilla, life can throw up some interesting challenges. For example, for the last 5 weeks the Castle has been awash with Christmas cheer, resulting in a constant crouch position being my main form of movement as a way to avoid dangling decorations (ironically I was responsible for these decorations, but hey it's for the kids right?) Outside of the Season of jolliness, things don't get easier.
Ever banged your head on a door frame because you had shoes on? Ever smashed a light bulb whilst walking? Ever sustained a serious neck injury by hitting a warning sign (a sign positioned to warn of a low entrance, I know, you couldn't make it up)? Have you, dear reader, ever wanted to chop your legs off just so you could sit on a bus/train/back seat of a car or in a plane comfortably? No, well welcome to my world.
I know there are bigger people than me, I know there a many more with actual serious issues to deal with, but my back really does hurt and the only perspective I have is mine. Slip on shoes are now a must, the dishwasher thinks I've gone on holiday and I really don't like sitting down. Sitting down means I'm done. Jobs complete, shopping done, kids taken care of, time for a cuppa and a sit down. I had a chair in my office at work which was only used when dealing with customers face to face. I talk on the phone while making a pedometer think I'm running a marathon, cooking I'm stood, washing I'm stood and writing, I'm fecking well stood.
So here I am now in the world of six legs not two and I don't like it. Chairs aren't designed for small mountain gorillas, our legs don't fit, there is no comfortable position and my bum goes numb. A cushion for my back is lovely and something I can't appreciate standing up but it doesn't make up for the posterior predicament. My feet tap, my legs jingle and all I can think about are the things I could be doing. I know it's not forever (I least I hope) and if I'm a good boy and rest properly I'll be back to my upright self soon enough, but in the meantime please excuse the self indulgent pity but my back really does hurt, I'm sat down and nobodies made me a cup of tea.
As you may remember dear reader I usually type my witterings whilst stood in my "office" but no more. I have had to join the world of those who sit. "What's his problem?" you may ask, well I'll tell you. If you are of average dimensions you may not be aware of the daily struggles anyone above 6 foot has. I myself stand at just shy of 6ft 4inches, coupled with a previously discussed weight of a small mountain gorilla, life can throw up some interesting challenges. For example, for the last 5 weeks the Castle has been awash with Christmas cheer, resulting in a constant crouch position being my main form of movement as a way to avoid dangling decorations (ironically I was responsible for these decorations, but hey it's for the kids right?) Outside of the Season of jolliness, things don't get easier.
Ever banged your head on a door frame because you had shoes on? Ever smashed a light bulb whilst walking? Ever sustained a serious neck injury by hitting a warning sign (a sign positioned to warn of a low entrance, I know, you couldn't make it up)? Have you, dear reader, ever wanted to chop your legs off just so you could sit on a bus/train/back seat of a car or in a plane comfortably? No, well welcome to my world.
I know there are bigger people than me, I know there a many more with actual serious issues to deal with, but my back really does hurt and the only perspective I have is mine. Slip on shoes are now a must, the dishwasher thinks I've gone on holiday and I really don't like sitting down. Sitting down means I'm done. Jobs complete, shopping done, kids taken care of, time for a cuppa and a sit down. I had a chair in my office at work which was only used when dealing with customers face to face. I talk on the phone while making a pedometer think I'm running a marathon, cooking I'm stood, washing I'm stood and writing, I'm fecking well stood.
So here I am now in the world of six legs not two and I don't like it. Chairs aren't designed for small mountain gorillas, our legs don't fit, there is no comfortable position and my bum goes numb. A cushion for my back is lovely and something I can't appreciate standing up but it doesn't make up for the posterior predicament. My feet tap, my legs jingle and all I can think about are the things I could be doing. I know it's not forever (I least I hope) and if I'm a good boy and rest properly I'll be back to my upright self soon enough, but in the meantime please excuse the self indulgent pity but my back really does hurt, I'm sat down and nobodies made me a cup of tea.
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