Accidental House Life

Is it just me or are we getting weaker as a species? On returning to the school playground I have yet to encounter a single family that wasn't affected by illness in some shape or form over the Christmas holidays. For some it was just sniffles, for others it was make you stay in bed viruses and for the unfortunate few, hospitalisation. Now don't get nickers in a twist that I'm making a huge generalisation or down playing peoples individual sickness, but this winter seemed to floor the entire village I live in. My fellow "Stayers" will read this with a nod and a knowing smile. We, dear reader, are the hardy few. We may have the sniffles, we may even have a virus, but we've had those for about a year now, it's our new norm. I say this slightly tongue in cheek. You see, when you "Jobbers" aren't around and we have uncensored conversations, by golly do we moan. And by we and sincerely mean we. I have a stock phrase in answer to the question ...

The backs gone again. The joy of back pain and being a house husband is, well, nothing. Only when you hurt something do you realise how much you use it and only then do you realise how much you need it. Now I was going to go on a lovely long poetic metaphor upon how my situation mirrors aspects of our daily lives but dammit my back really does hurt! As you may remember dear reader I usually type my witterings whilst stood in my "office" but no more. I have had to join the world of those who sit. "What's his problem?" you may ask, well I'll tell you. If you are of average dimensions you may not be aware of the daily struggles anyone above 6 foot has. I myself stand at just shy of 6ft 4inches, coupled with a previously discussed weight of a small mountain gorilla, life can throw up some interesting challenges. For example, for the last 5 weeks the Castle has been awash with Christmas cheer, resulting in a constant crouch position being my main form of moveme...

With a sense of deja vu I feel the need to post a quick reminder to all the non house parents out there (and to reassure everyone like me it's ok, everything will be ok) that, all though you may be lucky enough to have time off work, you are now entering someone else's office. I know, I know, I've posted about this before, but a summer break is a lot different than Christmas. A quick calculation tells this stay at home parent that his world is about to turned upside down in 2 sleeps. Now for you mathematicians out there, you're right, that still several sleeps short of Christmas day, but for you stay at homers who feel my pain (stock up with Baileys, NOW!) it's about to be holiday time. You know it's coming, you think you've planned everything, all eventualities should be dealt with and yet....... Christmas is a different holiday to all the others and not just for the obvious reasons. Yes there's the stress of money, yes there's the stress of the...

The more astute amongst you would have seen a gap in posts with no new insight from the Castle for a week. This is down to a simple fact, I have nothing "fun" to write about. When I first embarked on this blog journey I wanted to give an honest but upbeat account of life as a stay at home parent. Too many times I've read through other peoples rants and thought "well that was a waste of my time" and I didn't want to be that kind of writer, but this past week (well, month actually) has seen a reversal on that position as life, at the moment, frankly sucks. Don't get me wrong, there are things that I shall be eternally grateful for. The wonderful wife, my two amazing children and doughnuts, but as the agonising search for the next chapter of my accidental house life continues, I feel a horrible sense of deja vu and a sinking feeling of monotony. My days are quickly blurring into one long continuous slog of dishwasher washing machine dinner making school ...

On the dining room door at the Castle is a league table. On that league table (carefully constructed with points awarded through a highly complex mathematical formula) are the results of our family games nights (and days). Now this may make some of you scratch your heads. "Aren't his kids 6 and 8? Why would you need a league table? Doesn't he let his kids win ?" Dear reader, at the Castle, we all play to win. I may have mentioned in previous musings that in my youth I was quite sporty, so my competitive streak stretches back many, many decades. But being British, it is a British competitive streak. I know in recent times that winning has become a bit of a habit for all teams British (even Football if you ignore the actual England Team), but it is a pretty recent phenomenon and for old folks like me it takes a bit of getting used to. No, I was raised the old fashioned British way. You remember, the "it's taking part that counts, winning isn't everythi...

After time you realise that being a stay at home parent is your job. It's not well paid (0 hours contact and below minimum wage), the hours are long, the holidays are like working double shifts and, as previous posts have shown, your health suffers. But the perks are good (unlimited beverages and food), your employer loves you and the rewards, though few and far between, can be priceless. It's on certain mornings, the "clockwork" mornings, that you find yourself smiling. Before my accidental house life I had worked all my life. Even during college and university days I held a part time job (the later turning into a full time job hence the lack of a degree) but I struggle to recall ever being so settled in the workplace. Yes the hours are long, but I enjoy the setting and can take my breaks when I want to, and yes it can be repetitive, but you know what, I eat food and wear clothes too, just crack on. But a weird realisation hit me the other day, I've designated ...

The back is fixed, hooray. Well nearly. All physio is done, my leg is no longer numb and I can bend over without pain ( I still groan though, I'm 45). So back to normality. Normality for a stay at home parent, as regulars know, means housework, school runs, breakfasts, lunches and dinners, clothes washing and generally drinking as many cups of tea as the day will allow. But what I have discovered, and has been backed up by my ever tightening trousers, is that my regular routine must include exercise. This, in a round about way, brings me onto todays topic. Physical education, as we are constantly told by the press, is of upmost importance, not just for this generation but for all generations. We are told and advised by our oh so svelte press and politicians that we are an obese nation waiting for a giant heart attack to happen.  About 2.1 billion people – nearly 30% of the population of the planet – are overweight or obese, raising the risk of diabetes, heart disease and cancers....