Lose with style.

On the dining room door at the Castle is a league table. On that league table (carefully constructed with points awarded through a highly complex mathematical formula) are the results of our family games nights (and days). Now this may make some of you scratch your heads. "Aren't his kids 6 and 8? Why would you need a league table? Doesn't he let his kids win?" Dear reader, at the Castle, we all play to win.

I may have mentioned in previous musings that in my youth I was quite sporty, so my competitive streak stretches back many, many decades. But being British, it is a British competitive streak. I know in recent times that winning has become a bit of a habit for all teams British (even Football if you ignore the actual England Team), but it is a pretty recent phenomenon and for old folks like me it takes a bit of getting used to. No, I was raised the old fashioned British way. You remember, the "it's taking part that counts, winning isn't everything blah blah blah" mentality. I never fully subscribed to this way of life but I did learn a very important lesson. How to lose.

I know, two head scratches in one post, but let me explain. Knowing how to lose doesn't mean you're not trying to win. Trust me, not once did I enter something without the absolute conviction and belief that I would win. Knowing how to lose is something that is sorely missing from 21st century life. That ability to look someone squarely in the eye, knowing you gave it your best but they were better, and saying "well done", "congratulations", "well played". The ability to take pride in your performance but knowing you must do better, practice more, try harder and then give it another go.

Knowing how to lose leads to improvement. Being honest with yourself is a great character trait and you can't improve without being honest. How many interviews have you watched in recent times when the losing side admits that they weren't quite good enough. All those sneering football managers blaming everyone and everything for a loss rather than being honest in public and saying the other side was just better. As much as we hate to admit it, these lousy losers are role models and as such, effect our young offspring. Children crying on sports day because they didn't win, upset kids who didn't get a prize at the school disco, the tantrums thrown because someone did better. All down to the fact that throughout their young life they were never taught how to lose.

Don't get me wrong, I've experienced my fair share of upset children in the Castle, but here's the thing, so what? My kids have played games with myself and the good wife since they could talk and read and they have been losing for the same length of time. I've never known a Grandparent take it easy on them and when they enter competitions neither does anyone else. But when they win, oh that look on their face. They know they've earned it, that they were the better player and they deserve to feel proud. They understand that practice makes you improve, that losing can be a learning experience and if you want someone to play with you again then remember your manners, say "well played" and lose with style.