Days that end in a Y.
Without going into detail children did not arrive easily to the Castle, so we are eternally grateful for our two amazing little people that now control every aspect of our lives (no really, we are). It's never too difficult to remember the times where laughter is the over-riding sound within the home and every day something new happens which stops me in my tracks. However, kids are kids. Not every moment is filled with sweetness and light, not everyday makes my heart burst with pride and not everyday has this writer reaching for the keyboard wanting to share with the world the wonder of being a stay at home parent. There are some days that end in a Y.
Case in point. Eldest child wishes to go to a sleepover. No problem there you may think. Unfortunately the eldest child sometimes has an issue with attitude (8 going on 14) which sometimes results in child number 2 having some very difficult times. Now don't get me wrong, I was the youngest, I know how it goes. Unfortunately in the pecking order of siblings the youngest always suffers the most, upset the eldest, youngest gets it in the neck, clothes tend not to be of the new variety (interesting when they're not the same sex) and the shadow of the elder sibling always appears to be hovering around. (Good news though, statistics show that these kids tend to do better later in life, so hang in there little ones, it does get better). So back to the point. Little Miss Attitude hasn't been showing the levels of love and respect I would want or expect lately, leading to a dilemma.
I am a great advocate of the naughty step. It is a tried and tested method used very successfully at the Castle for 8 years. But as they get older I think it maybe losing its effect on my children, they don't enjoy it but no longer does it result in the same levels of remorse that it used to. So here's the dilemma, is the withholding of a sleepover too harsh a punishment or is it time to step it up int the discipline stakes? Are there incremental steps I should be following or is it now done on a case by case basis? Is fear a good way of instilling discipline or am I being lazy and taking the easy option?
Easy questions don't seem to exist when you're a parent but I think that's the point. If we always take the easy option, you know, the one that doesn't result in screaming/tantrums/sulks/tears (delete as appropriate) what are we teaching are little bundles of joy/mischief (again, delete as appropriate)? Most of us read the books, took advice from our parents, indeed any parent going, and searched the internet at times of need, but here's the revelation. No two kids are the same. I know, earth shattering insight there, but it's something I think all parents need reminding of occasionally. You may have one, two or five, but the biggest lesson I've learnt is that they are all individual so treat them as such. Yes, a base level of discipline is great, a necessity even, but expand the horizons.
If one has attitude and the other is cheeky, if one is 8 and the other 6, treat them as such. Yes it's more difficult, definitely more time consuming (but hey, we're at home, what else are we doing?) and can lead to bigger tantrums etc to begin with, but I've found it ultimately rewarding. I now deal with 2 separate entities that appreciate being treated as such and life runs a little more smoothly, of course there were difficulties to begin with (I'm not Superman) and I wondered if this was the right approach but at the time of writing all seems to be going rather well. But hey, there's still those days that end in a Y.
Easy questions don't seem to exist when you're a parent but I think that's the point. If we always take the easy option, you know, the one that doesn't result in screaming/tantrums/sulks/tears (delete as appropriate) what are we teaching are little bundles of joy/mischief (again, delete as appropriate)? Most of us read the books, took advice from our parents, indeed any parent going, and searched the internet at times of need, but here's the revelation. No two kids are the same. I know, earth shattering insight there, but it's something I think all parents need reminding of occasionally. You may have one, two or five, but the biggest lesson I've learnt is that they are all individual so treat them as such. Yes, a base level of discipline is great, a necessity even, but expand the horizons.
If one has attitude and the other is cheeky, if one is 8 and the other 6, treat them as such. Yes it's more difficult, definitely more time consuming (but hey, we're at home, what else are we doing?) and can lead to bigger tantrums etc to begin with, but I've found it ultimately rewarding. I now deal with 2 separate entities that appreciate being treated as such and life runs a little more smoothly, of course there were difficulties to begin with (I'm not Superman) and I wondered if this was the right approach but at the time of writing all seems to be going rather well. But hey, there's still those days that end in a Y.
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