Accidental House Life

Is it just me or are we getting weaker as a species? On returning to the school playground I have yet to encounter a single family that wasn't affected by illness in some shape or form over the Christmas holidays. For some it was just sniffles, for others it was make you stay in bed viruses and for the unfortunate few, hospitalisation. Now don't get nickers in a twist that I'm making a huge generalisation or down playing peoples individual sickness, but this winter seemed to floor the entire village I live in. My fellow "Stayers" will read this with a nod and a knowing smile. We, dear reader, are the hardy few. We may have the sniffles, we may even have a virus, but we've had those for about a year now, it's our new norm. I say this slightly tongue in cheek. You see, when you "Jobbers" aren't around and we have uncensored conversations, by golly do we moan. And by we and sincerely mean we. I have a stock phrase in answer to the question ...

The backs gone again. The joy of back pain and being a house husband is, well, nothing. Only when you hurt something do you realise how much you use it and only then do you realise how much you need it. Now I was going to go on a lovely long poetic metaphor upon how my situation mirrors aspects of our daily lives but dammit my back really does hurt! As you may remember dear reader I usually type my witterings whilst stood in my "office" but no more. I have had to join the world of those who sit. "What's his problem?" you may ask, well I'll tell you. If you are of average dimensions you may not be aware of the daily struggles anyone above 6 foot has. I myself stand at just shy of 6ft 4inches, coupled with a previously discussed weight of a small mountain gorilla, life can throw up some interesting challenges. For example, for the last 5 weeks the Castle has been awash with Christmas cheer, resulting in a constant crouch position being my main form of moveme...